This is a message to all Manchester United fans who are travelling to Barcelona for next week’s game. In the interest of everyone having an enjoyable time next week you should all be aware that the biggest problem you may have in the city is with thieves. Every group of football fans that comes here is targeted, especially the British. The thieves see you as a big pay day and there is a simple logic to this: you will most likely drink a lot of alcohol and you will probably be carrying a fair amount of cash. There are three main types to watch out for.

First the type who comes up to you on the street saying something like “ah my friend, you like football, Barça good, Manchester good” or any similar inane crap. Do not let these people put their arm around you! It is not normal behaviour for the locals to try to hug strangers, they are almost certainly trying to rob you. Do not confuse this with people who you meet in the bars and have a drink with, they are probably genuine.

The second type to watch out for are the street prostitutes. Towards the bottom end of the Ramblas you may get women coming up to you offering sex, ok no problem there, but you have to be careful if they start grabbing your dick. Yes, I know it’s funny and you may not mind the idea of getting a free grope, but she may also be trying to pick your pocket, so beware. The basic rule is don’t let people you don’t know put their hands on you.

The third type is the bag snatcher. It’s best not to have any valuables in a bag while you are out and about, and be careful if you put your bag down anywhere while you are eating/drinking. Also be careful on the metro and buses because there are thieves working them, so look out for each other. I have no intention of making you all paranoid, it probably won’t happen, but the drunker you are the more likely you are to be targeted, especially if you are on your own.

I should also mention that Wednesday 23rd is St George’s Day, this is also celebrated in Catalonia, except that here they call him Sant Jordi. During the day the Ramblas will be absolutely packed with book stalls and flower sellers. Unless you have a particular interest in Catalan literature I would advise you to avoid it, the crowds make it very difficult to move and of course where there are crowds there will also be pickpockets.

I hope we see two fantastic games and I hope you all enjoy your stay in Barcelona.

Oh, and please don’t ask me for tickets because I’m afraid I can’t get you any.